Rei's hate : Eight ways to kill
by Amnesia Nymph
Summary: Not for the serious folks ! there will be a lot of Mamoru bashing in this st0ry !


Disclaimer : I don't own the characters !

_Author's note : Please don't read this if you are easily offended and if you are a die hard Mamoru-fan ! this contains a lot of horrible situations you won't even wish your worst enemy would ever have to go through...Anyway feel free to flame !_

**Rei's hate : Eight ways to kill**

With a satisfied smirk on her face Rei closed her note book and stood up from her desk.'' That feels so damn good.'' She smiled to herself while walking to the window to look down at Usagi and Mamoru who were kissing eachother with such a passion the raven haired girl couldn't help herself but feel hate for the black haired man.

Ever since they met Rei had been in love with the blonde haired princess , ofcourse she never let anyone notice , not even her friends had seen what was really there. Maybe that was because somehow she always ended up figthing with Usagi. She couldn't really help it , it was just who she was and besides that she thought Usagi looked kind of cute when she was angry. Mamoru so didn't deserve the blonde , Usagi needed someone she could rely on , Mamoru had left her to leave for America once and broke up with her because of a stupid dream ? Those reasons were just as stupid as that Mamoru-baka himself.

She simply shook her head when she saw Minako and the other senshi arrive at the temple that was underneath her bedroom.'' Atleast they stopped kissing.'' She reminded herself as she turned back to her desked.She suddenly felt very inspired to write something more in her note book.

She sat down again opening the note book in which she had written down three ways how she would kill Mamoru , or just things that could happen to him. Well they were all impossible though but damn funny , atleast she could laugh about it if Usagi would ever read this Rei would've been a death woman , or better said , there would be nothing left of her to identify her as a woman.

1.) Mamoru walks over the empty streets of Tokyo , everyone left because they could smell him coming but ofcourse that stupid idiot didn't know. He wore that stupid ugly green jacket of him like he always did ( poor bastard doesn't own other clothes ) But then a truck drove by , it seemed the truck driver wasn't from Japan because he doesn't reconize the black haired man who was walking over the streets and drives by. Too bad for him the smell of Mamoru even made its way into the truck causing him to lose conscious. The truck is now out of control and drives over Mamoru who doesn't die immidiately but first lives for two more hours , while suffering a lot before he he died.

2.) A dangerous Youma is attacking which is too strong for us ( the sailor senshi ) and then that idiot in a cape and tuxedo shows up again thinking his actions will make a difference by throwing a rose.But okay , let the poor guy try. Again Tuxedo Kamen throws a rose into the direction of the youma who was now attacking Sailor venus but the youma ducked away in time and catched the rose in mid air.With a smirk the youma throws the rose back at the cape boy , I mean Tuxedo mask which lands right into his heart causing him to drop death. Sailor moon is really hurt at first but after two seconds she is over him and kisses the fire senshi on the lips.It seems no one needed that cap boy in the first place.

3.) One day Mamoru will walk over the streets while he's followed by a dog.When that black haired creep finally will notice it'll be too late because the dog already would've aimed its ass towards him and shit all over him causing him to choke !

Rei smiled at the last one , that would be a nice thing to see happening.Then suddenly she remembered Seiya who ofcourse she didn't like either for chasing Usagi but atleast he could turn into a girl and he never actually had kissed Usagi.Not that she knew of anyway.

She took a deep breath and stared at the paper in front of her reading the three ways of killing Mamoru over again.Then she started writting again with a huge smile on her face.

4.) One day Usagi and Mamoru were going out and both decided to go to the beach since it was hot outside. Once they arrived there Mamoru wanted to play macho man as he jumped into the water. He was under for a couple of minutes before he came out of the water again. Much to his suprise he noticed the coast was kind of far away now and there was no one else in the water anymore.On the beach just stood everyone looking at him while screaming things he couldn't hear.He simply waved at all the people who stood there with a wide smile on his face thinking he was populair all of a sudden , until he felt something brush against his leg. And before he even realised it something took a bite right out of his leg causing him to scream for his mommy and after ten more minutes of suffering the shark finally decided it had enough of the crying black haired man and bite him into a million pieces , not even bothering to eat him up.

5.) But ofcourse there are so much more ways to die , like a death that can happen to everyone. One beautiful morning while Usagi was still asleep in the bed she shared with Mamoru he stood up.He really had to go to the bathroom. But just when he entered he slipped over the shampoo that laid spread all over the floor and broke his neck. He was now so sorry he had rejected Usagi's pleads of cleaning up the bathroom but just like any other , he had to pay for his mistakes. Some did that with money or going to jail but not Mamoru , he did it by dying in his own house at such a young age , I mean how old is the guy really ? He may look like a grown up man but he he acted like a five year old.Oh well who cares , he died !

6.) It had been two weeks after Galaxia had been defeated and both the sailor senshi as Mamoru were happy now with their freedom. Atleast everyone thought. Mamoru wasn't that happy at all since Galaxia was the only enemy that was female that hadn't fallen from him and making him cheat on Usagi.He felt so embarressed.Maybe he wasn't attractive anymore ? ( He never was anyway ) So one day he decided he couldn't take the pain anymore and begged Sailor mars to kill him. She pretended she couldn't do it but when he didn't stop talking and begging she just killed him by burning the hell out of him. Oh that must've hurt a lot but not as much as Sailor mars's jaws at the end of the day.She hadn't been able to stop laughing ever since he died.

7.) Mamoru could also die because of a toilet incident. Let me tell you how that would've happened in my imagination. One day Mamoru really needed to go to the tiolet to shit. But just as he sat down on it he found out he was on the lady's toilet and ofcourse it would be too embarressing to get caught for this big mistake.So after listening to all the things the women were talking about he decided to flush himself together with all his shit. So without any trouble he climbed into the toilet and pushed the flush button.Oh he was having the fun of his life , he especially liked the part where he kept turning and turning.But he hadn't thought about one thing...Ofcourse he didn't fit through the pipes , so after living there for two more days eating of all that was flushed down the toilet he died because of suffocating.

Rei smiled to herself , that one sounded like music to her ears.Then she went back on writting more murder or death accidents.

8.) After Mamoru returned from college on fine night he started on his homework because he was/is ( he's still alive now ! ) such a nerd. After trying hard to find out what the word :'' Baka'' meant he decided to look it up on the internet but before he was going to try and figure out how a computer worked he wanted to make himself a nice cup of coffee first.When he reached the kitchen he started looking for coffee but much to his dismay he found out he had drunk all up yesterday.So instead of coffe he decided to make some tea which was made of hot spices.Ofcourse the cape boy didn't know that.And after taking two sips out of his cup he found out why he had never drunk this before but that was too late now because in shock her threw the cup over the computer which started to flame the minute the tea reached the wires.And because Mamoru was way too dumb to understand his house was going to burn to the ground he just stood there looking at the pretty flames ( but because i already burned him he's going to survive the fire ) So he ran out of the house when he heard sirenes.But just when the poor baka reached the front door the ceiling fell down on him.

Again she closed her note book as she stood up.It was time she was going to face the others since they had a senshi meeting going on , even though their mission was over.'_I guess that really doesn't matter , it's a good reason to be near Usagi.' _She reminded herself and maybe , just maybe she would write her own book someday involving a black haired baka and a raven haired murderer that found a way to kill him in every life.

9.) Usagi will leave him some day !

* * *

_So this is my little revenge on someone i can't stand , don't worry people i'm not planning on doing those things for real so don't think you need to call the cops to report a sick maniac !_


End file.
